Annoyance (more coming soon, no doubt)

1) When people come up and just grab something out of your hand. Like, I had this pencil grip with a squishy hold, and I adjusted it to fit the way I hold my pencil, and someone comes up to me, removes the pencil from my hand while I'm trying to write, readjusts my pencil holder, hands the pencil back to me and says, "Sorry, that was just bugging me."

Helpfulness

1: I need help.
2: Okay, what do you need?
1: The answer I got doesn't make sense..
2: What is the question asking?
1: To find the min. and max. for Barry's walkie talkie's range.
2: I see. Barry.
1: But somewhere in the equation I messed up.
2: Well, where did you mess up?
1: I don't know.
2: Your answer is impossible. Take it out, it doesn't fit.
1: (stares blankly)
2: Do you understand?
1: No.
2: Do you need help?
1: Yes, that would be nice.

Strangeness

I'm finding my life to be rather entertaining. Everything all of a sudden just appears to be so weird. It's humorous in a totally bizarre, unintentional, not even realistic way. I kinda love it.

I checked out maximumride.blogspot.com, and to my insane relief it was the 'real' Fang's Blog. Not one of those crummy 'learn about the books' things that were something totally different (and meaningful) in the real story.

Do you wear make-up (Amelia, my only visitor)?

Confessional No. 2

These confessionals will probably turn out to be like Amelia's blue ink things. Only more self-absorbed and not as entertaining.

Sometimes I act different around my friends as I do alone. I don't make an effort, and they don't try to change me. It's just like, my mind swaps...gears and I'm still me, but I'm not "Becca by herself with time to rattle on in her blog and play around with how she feels about the Twilight series and time and time and time to just think" Becca. I'm the more social version. Whatever being social when you're me is. I think I'm the same person...but also part of me is different.

Also, I can't decide about the Twilight thing. On the one hand, it's horridly mainstream. Well, that's an exaggeration, but still. And also, the amount of Flair on Facebook having to do with Twilight is grating my patience to powder. Edward is great, sure, I like him in Midnight Sun a lot, because I can understand where he's coming from. He's a very intense individual. But characters in books are never truly like real life characters. Sure, everyone wishes Jim on the Office was real, and Max was real, and Hogwarts was a real school. Well, I have. Call me hopeless. I say it's having an imagination. All right. With a touch of hopelessness. Due to naught but the abstract, slow-learning persona I have. And now people are hoping to death Edward is real. Sure, it might liven things up (ha, like the world hasn't been having as much action as to keep everyone's attention lately).

Also, I took a political test to see where...I stand I guess. According to the results, I was a Libertarian edging toward the left side, which was liberal. I know the little separate things that I see as right, but I've never really gotten into politics before.

Confessional

Fine, fine. I admit it. Windex infuriates me. There's a secret to using it that the world is aware of but has been kept from me. Streak-free shine my eye. I feel like I'm attacking the window, not cleaning it. Horrible.

Tatters

The blog title is titled as such because my mind is always scattered - in tatters, per say. I'm not the most logical, I'm not the faster learner, I'm not the most keen - but when something clicks, I run with it.

So, 6 hours (roughly) after picking up a bunch of movies, The Golden Compass, and the second and third Maximum Ride (4th wasn't there) I've completely done with numero dos. I like Max. And her name. And how comebacks and strength seem to seep out of her.

Fillers (Ink Formation)

Somedays I just feel full of words.

I finished Maximum Ride : The Angel Experiment. I am rapidly becoming obsessed with the series, instead of counting sheep, I lay in bed waiting for sleep to overcome my overactive brain, I try to predict the next plot twist, the next Eraser attack, or just fantasize about Max and Fang and the gang. In truth, I don't count sheep. Never tried.

Today during the MEAP we had our Science round of boredom thrown at us. It was the worst. Usually the MEAP is ok, I just speed through it without a care and try to get more reading time. This was just - blech habba noshna wabba. Yeah; that bad. There was one totally-out-there question that asked for metric tools of measurement and metric units of measurement for length, mass, and volume. Actually, the order was mass, length, volume. So, for mass I put a scale and grams. Then it gets tricky. The first thing that came to mind for length was a ruler, so I jotted that down, eager to be rid of this stupid quest to bring more money into the school. Then I put kilometers for the unit. Thing is, you need a pretty big ruler to measure kilometers. Literally, a ruler that long and ginormous could slice a nursing home to bits. Then, here it comes - volume. I've never been good with volume, always seen it as sort of an abstract concept. So I had no clue when it came to volume - measuring tools. For units, I put kilograms. And then -get this- I made up a word for the tool. Totally serious. Raxometer.

On the bus, I was finishing Max Ride and it was dark, so I brought a flashlight. And this kid Luke said, Becca, what's up with the flashlight? Sticking to the basics, I replied, Well see, I can't see in the dark.

My locker buddy has proved that you can fold a paper in half 7 times. The seventh fold was achieved by him carefully placing in under the leg of his chair and sitting on it. For three hours of the day. He's miraculous.

The other day in math Clare reached around and tapped the shoulder opposite of the shoulder of mine nearer to her. I mean....convoluted sentence alert. Whatever, you get it, I think. And I turned toward her and she was looking totally blank and almost dreamy, and she said in this abstract voice, What? Which made both of us crack up, naturally.

I miss Amelia Diehl.

Also, today in math, Becky and Clare were talking about graphing and equations and our teacher taking a medical leave, and I looked up from where I was sitting on the floor and said, Once when I was little, I got in a car wreck. Clare looked at me and started laughing, and then I added, But don't worry, I got out of it okay. in a voice that suggested otherwise.

I'm working on a collage.

Our concert! Ohmigosh. So, one of the basses can sing soprano. And my teacher won't let me sing alto. The guys sound good on whatever they sing. I blatantly refuse to accept that they are better singers, pinning it on gender. And they get to sing this awesome latin piece, on the balconey of the auditorium. It's the coolest song. I mean, not a "I need that on my iPod" kinda deal, but for a choir piece, it's pretty awesome. We're singing (yet another) song about singing. After El Ritmo De La Noche (The Rhythm of the Night), Oh Music Sweet Music, Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy - we are now faced with Sing We and Chant It and How Can I Keep From Singing? If you heard the song How Can I...., you'd be able to keep from singing along with no trouble. Also, she changed keys - moving upward. We're already singing a high E. And, not to seem arrogant as my current soprano status, but moving it up higher is not going easy on the altos. The sopranos don't sound all too put together either. It's going to be a sad concert day this coming Tuesday.

Nathan has been telling me what to do, and it's killing me. Of his annoying lines, the ones that get me most are:
Prove it!
Don't lie (occasionally he'll add 'Lying is bad!)
Don't tell lies! (sounds the same as the one directly above, but there are subtle differents in tone quality which he says them)
and then of course,
telling me what to do. Gotta hate that.

Ryan: Party at my house! Everyone's invited? (motions to me) You comin'?
Me: Hmmm...will there be Fresca?
Ryan: Everyone'll be there!
Me: (more determined now) Will there be Fresca?
Ryan: Yes, there will be Fresca.
Me: I'm in.
(the party, unfortunately was cancelled)

Did you know, by the way, all porcupines float in water?

there will be legos (the large little kid kind) and air hockey and mario kart and lemon ginger cookies and rice krispie bricks and corn chips and the office and tire swings and crab apples and bug repellant and hugs and jokes and pictures and...grass and gmail and perhaps even a touch of....something special.


you in or what?

I got

Maximum Ride : The Angel Experiment
by James Patterson

Olive's Ocean
by Kevin Henkes

and

An Abundance of Katherines
by John Green

What about the antelope?

I think sometimes, when you're telling a story and you don't include a last name, the person might think you're talking about another person with the same name. And then the story sounds different to that person, because different people say different things differently.

Jackpot

I wish that....

the things you lick on envelopes came in different flavors

you could have a record of all your gmail statuses

something stayed clean more than 24 hours after cleaning it

hair didn't need to be washed so often

instead of buying stuff in a billion different colors, you could change the color of one shirt

pencil erasers regenerated

Ephiphany?

Life is not necessarily about understanding people - It's about respecting them whether you understand them or not.

Yo Gabba Gabba

I LOVE THE HUSH SOUND

Before School Quandries

Wonder what quandries means...I'm too lazy to look it up. Hopefully it's none too explicit.

Yesterday was a half day. And Branden's birthday. I went to school, had a bad time in 1st hour, had an good time in 2nd hour and a pretty-ok 3rd hour, then rode home on the bus.

Ryan (whispering to me): Luke is like, inviting himself over to my house and trying to get me to make lunch for him
Me: How do you feel about that?
Ryan: I don't wanna make lunch for him.
(as he and Luke were getting off the bus)
Ryan: So, what are you gunna have for lunch?
Luke: ...Well, no one's at my house, and I don't really have any food...you have food right.

Then I hung out a couple hours with some friends, and I saw Rent for the first time, but I had no idea what happened after the movie because I was laughing a LOT yesterday. And I was sitting next to Anthony, so when you put two and two together (well, it makes four, but you know what it means). Then I had piano, and then opening Branden's presents (well, he opened them) and his birthday dinner and a church activity of making halloween gingerbread houses. Hannah was there! and I laughed a ton again. I also totally lost it at dinner and COULD NOT stop laughing. My parents just stared at me a little weird. It was a strange day.

So I guess I'll go kill time on Yahoo Answers now. See ya lata alligata (I feel like I've ended a blog post like that before - I don't want to be redundant.)

Of Course I'm Encouraging Her!

I think a lot of the time when people talk very surely about something, they're kidding themselves and don't have a clue. Just a thought. I had pizza for dinner.

Today I was on Yahoo Answers, which is just another aspect of my life, and there was a question in my favorite category that said:

So.Ladies, are you more of a girly-girl or a tom boy?
And an answer that said,

"im a girly girl and i love it!

girls are supposed to be femenine, not boyish"

That irritated me because I don't like when other people set the rules for other people like that. I mean, sure, leaders and teachers and stuff. But someone like a friend telling another friend how they're supposed to act if they want to stay friends. They're not your friend if you're like that. End.Of.Story. It doesn't have to be hard.

The Weekenders

There was a show called the Weekenders...I liked it. I wonder where it went. Yeah...I kinda liked it. Well, I don't remember it that well because I don't know where it went, but, you know.


Me: Is Stein around? Stein! Stein! Guess not
Nick: Stein! Nope, he isn't.
Me: (sarcastically, but of course Nick didn't recognize that) What makes you think he would respond to you instead of me?
Nick: He hardly knows you! He's my neighbor.
Me: Maybe that's exactly why he would have answered me. He knows you, so you guys have talked and probably argued and he's probably decided what he likes or doesn't like about you. With me, I'm just a person and we don't know each other so we don't have anything to disagree on. Maybe that's why he would answer me.
Nick: You just made no sense.
Me: You're not making sense!

Journalling (whatever that is)

What is journalling to you? Is it a recount of your day, a bunch of things you learned, and exercise or reading log, and joke sanctuary, a haven for secrets and boys and drama, a place to pour out all your emotion into so you can suppress feeling anything else for most of time, a place to complain, a place to gush, a place to record, a place to grow.

Hmm I like this song. I should make a new playlist, but I don't want to. It's Lights and Sounds by Yellowcard.

I started to read Olive's Ocean in L.A. today. It's good so far. I think I'm lapsing back into old routines. Like, let's chat then do hw. It's better to just get it over with.

My mom is taking me to a nutritional healing center. I'm kind of glad, even if they take me off wheat or sugar. It would be nice to resume breathing comfortably through my nose on a regular basis. I swear, I might use up my chapstick supply. And I have many Chapsticks.

Don't you just love when someone does something nice for you? It's pretty great.

My floor came today! It's hickory hardwood.

I'm working on learning to keep a straight face. It's going...okay I guess.

My Wish List:

New iPod nano in orange (or to get my old one back)

5 by 5 rubik's cube

Flight of the Conchords poster

The Office poster

Dwight bobblehead

Tickets to Kansas for spring break

and, kind a little maybe - a North Face




I'm just sort of rambling. Don't got nothin to talk bout. D was sick today. BG has a 7th grade girlfriend and Rennie yelled at them for making out on the stairs. Nathan's friend is in my advanced math class. My science teacher does not like our class. And a new record - three big textbooks! History, Science and Math.

Listening to Dolla Dolla now. I guess it's technically called Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)

Wow. I'll be amazed if anyone can stand getting through this. I wish life were more interesting. It's just...wake up too early, go to school, be tired all day, come home, linger around not really doing anything at all, or karate or church stuff or family night or piano, eating too much food out of boredom, scraping up barely enough time and effort to complete the hw, going to bed, waking up too early the next day. Saturdays are cleaning the kitchen, dining room and three bathrooms and my room and my desk. And Sunday is church from 1-4.

Progressive Dinners

If you read my blog archive with just the titles you really have no idea what the blog entry is about. It's just a long convoluted phrase or a song stuck in my head or something that happened that day. It's not what the entry's content actually is. Tonight I did go to my first progressive dinner. And I guess I've found out a couple things in my life.

Guys don't like girls who try too hard. Well, I guess some guys do. But if you want to actually have guy friends you shouldn't giggle and twirl your hair at everything they say. Well, let me rephrase that. If giggling and twirling your hair is what comes naturally, sure, go ahead and giggle whilst twirling. Don't let me change who you are. And I know, now you say, well who says you're an expert? Why do you think you can share your knowledge of relationships with the world? Well imaginary protesters of my creative writing - I'm hardly sharing it with the world. Amelia will see it. And Anthony might if he looks at my blog in a week or two. But aside from that, it's no one. I hardly (there's that word again) need to explain at all. I don't think either of those two would care.

I don't want to be one of those people who leans too hard on others. Like, you can't go on dealing with problems yourself - you need them. There is no other way but to have them help you fix it. Because if you lean too hard on a friend they fall over, and it's almost like you pushed 'em down. No one wants a friend who abuses them like that, on top of being super needy. I want to be one of those people who likes having friends and values friendship highly, but who won't fall apart if a friend leaves them.

Just like...someone who can hold there own.

Still haven't started Brown's history thing.