Sunday, November 30, 2008

Memory Loss

I'm contemplating whether I have a fully developed and capable brain. I mean, I'm not calling myself stupid. If I did that I'd be opening myself up for everyone else to do that too.

I just don't remember a lot. The farthest back I remember is first grade the first day of school. I had a baloney sandwich. Not real baloney...it was like...tofuoney. It was green. I loved it. Sandwich had mustard on it. Anyway, I can see pictures in my head of farther back, but it's just homevideos replaying in my head. I'm not seeing out of my eyes, I'm seeing it from the camera lenses. Just like how everyone else sees me. Also, is a camera like a mirror? Everything seen in reverse?

That's a little strange actually. That people never really see themselves as everyone else does. They see it backward. I think in a fair world, people would at least be able to see themselves like how other's did. This world isn't fair though.

Anyway, I am worried about my memory. I don't remember much of anything. I don't remember Europe, except these random tid bits, and only of the most recent year. I don't remember being 6 or 7 or 8. Except I do remember that one time Noah telling me he liked me in 2nd grade and flashing an 'I love you' in sign language at me at recess. I was petrified. Does saying that thing about Noah sound like bragging? Am I bragging? Does anything make sense anymore?

I can't figure it out. Me and Karina were both normal before we met each other. Then we got to know each other and look at us today. I guess that means that the answer to the last question in the last...I was going to say paragraph but word block is a better term...is no.

Annoyance....what number am I on?

Whatever. Wanting to say something but not knowing how. Also, losing instructions to your new clock so you can't set it.

1 comment:

Amelia said...

Amazing.

Well, personally I think we sort of all have that. Where we remember certain snippets of elementary school and whatnot, but the rest is a blur, sometimes becoming back a little bit, but sort of unexercised in our minds. I wouldn't worry. Fofuoney. Again, I love your vocabulary.

That's a good point. That's an amazing point. I am so engrossed in this now. Yes! Geez. Interesting. Yeah, I've always wondered about the whole your eyes see out, but can't see where they come from, whereas you see other people with the same thing (or so we assume) but the opposite. Sort of like your colors idea. Perhaps its just another challenge/poetry-inspirer/etc in life.

Hmm. Well, like I said I think all in all we tend to forget stuff way past, because new things have some that seem more important and therefore distinct, and yet, like your returning tidbits, gradually our brain recalls snippets and sheds light behind our eyes (or wherever the magic place is) of the past, a surprise almost, but not quite deja vu. Oh, nice guy, Noah is. Bragging no. No its ok.

Ha yeah. Well, sometimes I guess we think about things a lot and it... I dunno. It's weird sure. Comprehension ceases at the start.

You're on Annoyance 0.7 I believe.

Amazing.